I wrote recently about my hatred of email lists and now I have a new approach that I hope will totally replace email – relationships.

Lorraine Hamilton wrote an article a few years ago about giving up on lists and doing something better. As soon as I read it, I knew this was the replacement for email lists that I needed.

Why lists are bad for authors

Lists are part of the old way of selling. Newsletters and email blasts are the last dying part of the TV-Industrial complex. You get permission to interrupt people in the hope of selling stuff.

Every social media account I have (and I have a lot) sends me email to make sure I do not forget about them. I ignore them.

People who signed me up for a list with the promise of a free template send me stuff and I ignore that.

Folks I had a correspondence with that one time send me weekly updates. I ignore those too.

REcruiters who I gave my CV to ten years ago email me about jobs below my skill level. I ignore them.

I ignore pretty much everyone who emails me. I just do not do email. Many people my age and younger are the same.

Stick email in the bin and follow me

I would like to start a bold experiment – we say screw lists and focus on building real relationships. Instead of building a list, build a friendship with the five or six people who are so excited about your book, they will go and tell the world for you.

That is my plan. I am not going to run email lists. I am going to build friendships.

Unlike list building, there are not entire manuals and countless articles teaching you how to make friends. Hopefully, though, you remember how to make friends from when you were a child.

Make a point of seeking out the handful of ideal fanatics and be a good friend to them. That is the plan. The whole plan. Be nice to people and build relationships.

Who is with me?